A different light
One afternoon 2 weeks ago, I lost an earring at work at my new job. It wasn’t the fanciest earring I own, but it was the part of the first necklace, ring earring set my husband ever bought me. I was on the phone, found the back on my desk and spent (wasted) most of my day, crawling around my office looking for the earring. Ironically, I had this weird inner peace that I could stop looking that it would “show up”. The next morning I came into work and honestly felt the saying in my heart, “look at things in a different light”. Of course I thought about the earring. Maybe today in the morning light, the sun would catch it just right, it would sparkle and I would find it. NOPE, didn’t happen. I thought about it every day, thinking I’d see it in a different light.
So as you noticed, I was writing a lot of blogs and then all of a sudden…poof. I was gone. Typical rookie blogger. Build a page, post a bunch of stuff, then poof, you’re gone. Well actually, I have a really lame excuse. I got a new job. At first it was training, learning new stuff, being overwhelmed. Then it was the new shininess of it. Then it was I realized that I had NEVER in all of my life, worked Monday-Friday 8-5. I used to work 12 hour shifts and recover for a day and then not work for days, and sometimes days and days. It was glorious…sort of. I realized that writing was an escape from that. All of a sudden I didn’t need an escape so I thought, and I stopped writing. Maybe I was just still in transition. People keep asking, how do you like your new job? My answer, I’m still getting used to it, or I’m in transition, or I’m not sure, or it’s different (a bunch more lame answers). The truth is, apparently, I’m not accepting change. It’s over, I’m not doing what I used to do, or at least not the same way I used to do it. It really is okay working every day. People all over the world do it…every day. It’s a great job, great people I work for, with, and all the other benefits a nice job offers. It’s of course me that is the problem. Unwilling to accept the change. The difference. The not dragging your butt home every day hoping not to pass out in your uniform while eating what may or may not be your second or third meal. Why the heck would I miss that? Why the heck would it effect writing or not writing? That’s a really good question. I haven’t changed, my writing ability hasn’t changed. Ohhhhhh, maybe it’s just my perspective. Maybe it’s just my attitude. Maybe it’s just my ability to accept the things I can change. Like getting the new job in the first place. I took that big step. That leap of faith. I made the change. Try something new and different. So what if I don’t know if I’ll like it. Try it. What I do know is that every day I can have a new perspective, I can look at things in a different light. The other day while going through some files that I had procrastinated on reviewing I heard a magical sound as something “tinkled” to the floor. I didn’t even have to look. I knew. I knew what it was. It was the earring. I had finally transitioned from looking, to accepting that it would show up. When I accepted it, things just happened. I just had to look at them in a different light.