The process

I think in pictures.  That is why photography, whether I am good at it or not, is important to me.  It reminds me of what I saw and how I felt at any given moment.  Many times I take a picture so that I won’t forget what inspired me earlier, yesterday, or 5 years ago.  Today, while walking around what is normally the lush green courtyard at our church, I thought about the important lesson it represented to me.  Today, the courtyard smelled.


 It is the time of year that bags of grass seed and manure get dumped all over the existing grass.  Grass that just last weekend was green and growing.  This week it is surrounded by caution tape so that no one walks across and gets manure on their feet nor relocate or smoosh the tiny seedlings.  It was dingy, dead looking and stinky. 


What a stark reminder of how I feel many times.  Maybe I am going through something, experiencing something, feeling sick, sad, or troubled at work, home, or coping with a strained relationship.  For the sake of conversation, I will say “we”, feel like someone has just dumped a big bag of manure on our head, on our life, in our living room or on our desk.  We can’t see or smell anything but the stinky, yucky situation that it is. I shared my thoughts with someone and he agreed that “poop” is part of the process.  The growing process.  The strengthening process, the beautifying process. 

If it weren’t for the big pile of problems or poo or whatever we want to label it, we may not be where we are today. Our past experiences while in them and under the poo we couldn’t see the experience we were getting, on the other side, we have learned valuable lessons from them.  Even the caution tape was a visual for me.  When I am in the middle of the problem, under the pile I can’t help but to feel alone, or want to be alone.  Maybe the caution tape is even for everyone else’s sake to keep your distance while I am going through this growing process, this change or transformation that will make me hopefully a little more tolerable to be around once the process is over. 


At the end, on the other side, once the manure has had time to sink in, deep into the roots, to my heart, at the end, I will be stronger. When the new seeds of love, patience, or tolerance have grown, I will be healthier.  Able to withstand a hot Arizona summer or whatever next process, problem, or experience life has to throw at me. Maybe you are under the pile right now; rest assured, if you let the seeds sink in, enjoy the water when it comes, and know that the grass really is greener on the other side.   

DeAnne Dwight